Abena's Pages

"Natural Beauties Who Follow My Blog"

Thursday, January 31, 2008

"Let's Talk Romance"

I am reading a book called, "Romancing Your Husband," and it is really inspiring me to STEP UP MY GAME (smile).......so I thought a post about romance was longgggg over do........With Valentine Day right around the corner I would like you all to share how you show love to your husband, fiance, or boyfriend......................
What is the most romantic thing you have ever done for you mate?


"Lets Have Some Fun"

Ok.. So,here are the rules: (1) Link to the person that tagged you. (2) Post the rules on your blog. (3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. (4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs. (5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. Now let's have some fun
I was tagged by Jenn.......so here it goes :)
1. I love to Roller Skate. I feel so free. I love it even more at the roller rink with music from the 80's.
2. I laugh sometimes when I am nervous.
3. I love playing teather ball, when I was younger in elementary school I was the teather ball queen. I wish I could set one up in my back yard.
4. I am pretty over zealous and pretty whimsical. Often when I get a thought in my head I start acting and planning immediately and then when I go to my husband to discuss it he usually always says well let's think about it. Boy am I glad he does that, because often time, and I mean VERY OFTEN, after a few days go by I completely have changed my mind. I can't even begin to list the unnecessary things we would have if my husband said yes to everything.
5. I am probably one of the most passionate people that most of my family and friends know. When I am passionate about something I go all the way and put my all into it, rather it is love, friendship, religion, politics, fun, etc.....I am all UP IN IT :)
6. I used to talk and walk in my sleep. Thank God I don't do either of those things any more.........because let's just say both have gotten me into some trouble in the past (smile).
7. Bonus- I can be pretty selfish with my time....sometimes I just shut out the world and just hybernate (literally like a bear)....I would say this is my "Abenatime".....I just go into my CAVE get lazy and veg and do whatever I want to do for hours or sometimes days...but usually I only can afford to spare hours, not days, but it still feels good :)
Who will join in on the fun.........I tag......Cherie, N'drea, Lakia, Trish, Tanya, and Meikmeika :)

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I Say, "African American Women Find Freedom in wearing SISTERLOCKS"

Black women find freedom with new 'do
Boston Globe
January 6, 2008
*****Thanks Ama******

Black women find freedom with new 'do
Martine Bernard wears Sisterlocks, the style she specializes in giving.

You might look at Akilah Cobham's hair and see neatly flowing locks. But it's not just hair, it's a cultural movement.

More stories like this Cobham, a 26-year-old high school Spanish teacher who lives in Roxbury, leapt into Sisterlocks, a hairstyle for black women looking for a sleeker alternative to traditional locks.

"It was like my hair was controlling me," Cobham said of her old hairstyle. She feared sweating out the straightness while working out, so she would plan gym time for right before her weekly visits to the hair salon. "I wanted a hairstyle that I can look cute in and still live my life," she said. She found the answer in Sisterlocks.

A national movement, Sisterlocks has a growing following in Boston. It's built around the wearers' pride as African-American women and their love of, well, their hair. Websites have sprung up, blogs written. Women chronicle the different stages of Sisterlocks in online photo galleries. They gather periodically in Dorchester.

"Hair is a big issue for black women," said Jacqueline Ashby, a Sisterlocks technician in Dorchester. "They want to end being ashamed of it and start being nappy and beautiful. Some women are even afraid of the word nappy."

Originated in 1993 by Dr. JoAnne Cornwell, a professor at San Diego State University, Sisterlocks - a trademark company - promotes not just a hairstyle, but a healthy hair lifestyle, advocates say. Wearers can wash and go, and they can roller-set, curl, and style their hair without using chemicals to change its texture.

The microlocks are increasingly in demand. Just ask Martine Bernard.
She doesn't own a salon or advertise. But her client list runs long, with patrons - including Cobham - across Boston and beyond waiting weeks to sit in her chair in her Roxbury apartment to get the Sisterlocks hairstyle.

Bernard's hair speaks for itself. Her long tinted locks fall gently around her face. You have to look closely to see that each lock is actually made up of 300 to 500 strands of the wearer's own hair, parted and woven together into a tiny pattern, something like very fine crochet. In fact, the locks are made using a kind of crochet hook that Cornwell invented.

Women who see Bernard want the look, and they're spreading the word to their friends, mothers, sisters - even husbands and boyfriends - anyone willing to pay $500 to $600, and to sit for two eight- to 10-hour sessions to install the locks. Upkeep on the hairstyle runs $60 to $120 every six to eight weeks and involves retightening the locks to keep their consistent and neat look.

"I never thought it would ever grow into this," said Bernard, the first certified Sisterlocks consultant in Boston, whose client list has bloomed from three to nearly 300 in five years. The city now has three trained Sisterlocks consultants and 10 trainees.

Women stop Bernard to quiz her about her hair. Some aren't sure what to make of it. Others wonder if it's real. But for many women who can fire off saga after saga of how chemicals destroy their hair, how weaves break it, how braids installed too tightly wreak havoc - it is beautiful hope.

The style "has ballooned into a culture, into a movement, into a sense of community," said Bernard, who co-hosted a Sisterlocks event Dec. 15 in Dorchester for women to celebrate their naturalness, share stories, and be empowered by others in the natural hair journey. "I have met every woman from the African diaspora. I have African, West Indian, Afro-European clients. . . . At this point I'm doing daughters. I've done extended families, aunts, cousins, sisters-in-law. . . . Black women are looking desperately for a solution to their hair woes."

As with the defiance of the Afro, the matted rebellion of dreadlocks, and the neatness of traditional palm-twisted locks, Sisterlockers wear their nappiness with another layer of pride.

The locks offer women the flexibility, freedom, beauty and lightness they crave. Sisterlocks, many say, is about black women reclaiming the beauty of their hair - sleekly, naturally.

In fact, the kinkier and more nappy the hair is, the easier it is to lock and the more beautiful it grows, said Jacqueline Ashby, who has her own online photo gallery and recently locked her daughter Amira's hair this summer.

Women say they are attracted to Sisterlocks because it's not as thick as traditional locks and not as heavy. "It bounces," said Cynthia Cobham, whose daughter Akilah first told her about the style. "It flows."
And the woven technique makes it easy for women to transition to Sisterlocks even if they have chemically treated hair, other locks, or Afros.
Karen Williams, a Sisterlocks trainee in Roxbury, said women - even men - chase her down on the T to find out what she did with her hair. "It's amazing," she said.

Many black women, tired of compromising the health and beauty of their hair to conform to the mainstream, have been moving to natural hairstyles, said Aminah Pilgrim, a professor who teaches black women's history at the University of Massachusetts at Boston.
"In many ways it represents the pride, the strength that comes from self-love and self-care and nurture," she said of Sisterlocks and the natural-hair movement.

Still, Sisterlocks is getting some flak from traditionalists who say that the interwoven locks aren't real locks, as dreadlocks and other styles are, and that the high cost to install the locks excludes a lot of poorer women.
But Sisterlockers contend that the natural hair world is big enough for everyone and that the cost to maintain the hair is comparable to what it would cost over time to keep and maintain a perm or to rebraid the hair with extensions. Women can also take classes on how to retighten their own locks, Bernard and others say.

"It's healing hair," Bernard said of her work. "I know it's hair. But it's not just hair for us. We are healing some of the ingrained feelings about our hair. . . .God does not make mistakes."

Meghan Irons can be reached at mirons@globe.com.
© Copyright 2008 Globe Newspaper Company.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

"Two-Fold Survey Questions"

{Photo of me and my godmommy taken last week}
1. How often do you get your hair retightened? (or if you do it yourself, how often)

2. How long does your retighten take?

Answers for me:

1. Every 6 weeks my loctician retightens my hair.

2. It takes 2- 2 1/2 hours each time, yesterday it was 2 hours (she is the fastest in the WEST)!
P.S. I have about 440 locks.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


New Year, New Beginning
Written by Sister Abena January 1, 2008
For I know the plans I have for you ," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

It is 2008 now and as I sit here and think back to 2007 I wonder how did we get to 2008 so quickly? Usually, by now, I have great hopes for the new year, but for some reason, I entered 2008 very quietly. I usually hear a lot of churches every where talking about the new slogan for the upcoming year, but once again, seems pretty quiet. I have heard a few here and there talking about the number 8 means new beginnings, but that’s about it.

I have always seen the new year as a new start, a way God allows us to start a new year better than we ended the previous year and that is what my primary goal is for 2008. I am going to take an assessment of my shortcomings for 2007 and try to do better in 2008. I am going to search my heart for the areas I need to grow in and pursue change and reformation with a vengeance. I am going to search for any areas in my life that need to be rejuvenated, maybe like, reading my Bible everyday with more zeal instead of so dutifully. I am going to invest in a stronger more passionate prayer life. I truly look at my prayer life as a way to communicate to God and He communicates back to me. If I don’t have that, I am truly lost, and I mean lost! I understand when David said, I will seek the Lord always.

Each year, I seek God for a new scripture for me to stand on, believe, and grab a hold of for the new year. Last year it was Matthew 6:33, Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all of these things will be added unto you. This scripture reigned true in my life in 2007 more than any other year of my life. The scripture God gave me for 2008 is in Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you Abena," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Wow, each time I read that scripture it knocks me off of my feet because I know that God is talking to me personally, that is why I inserted my name.

How about you, have you sought out God for a scripture for yourself? You know what that does for me, it gives me a renewed purpose and hope for the present year and I go after that promise in the scripture with all that I have within me. Also, throughout the year, the Holy Spirit reveals the scripture in many forms. For example, last year, I sought God first regarding some challenges in my family, and He had me step back and allow Him to add blessings onto the people in my family I was praying for, especially my little sister. I thought I would have to provide the monetary things she needed, but God did. Also, a situation at my job where someone I trusted actually turned out to not be very trustworthy, but I sought God first instead of trying to handle the problem myself. I was going to share some very personal information with this person about myself, but God had me pull back and He sent someone to share information with me about the person I thought I trusted, and my reputation was spared, because who knows how the untrustworthy person would have used the information to harm me. So I thank God for sending a true friend to warn me. These are just two examples.

I encourage you for 2008 to: 1. Seek God for a scripture that is just for you. 2. Take an honest assessment of the areas in your life that still need your attention. It could be a sin that continues to come back, it could be that you can’t seem to get out of a state of depression, it could be fornication, it could be lack of a desire to serve God etc. whatever it is seek God for full deliverance so that He can move you into your destiny for 2008. God wants more than ever for you to be in position and ready to receive the abundant blessings He has for you but He needs you to take ownership of the areas in your life that need YOUR attention. The first step is recognizing the areas of concern and the next steps are to seek out God and His Holy word for guidance, deliverance, change, and restoration. Can you do that? I believe if you do, you will never be the same.

In closing, I want you to remember that your best days are still ahead, you just have to grab a hold of the promises of God and don’t let go! But remember, promises don’t come without obedience. Some blessings in Gods word are unconditional, but most are conditional. Which means God says if you then I.

God Blesses Obedience, look at: Deuteronomy 7:11-16: You shall therefore be careful to do the commandment, and the statutes, and the ordinances, which I command you this day. 12 "And because you hearken to these ordinances, and keep and do them, the LORD your God will keep with you the covenant and the steadfast love which he swore to your fathers to keep; 13 he will love you, bless you, and multiply you; he will also bless the fruit of your body and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your wine and your oil, the increase of your cattle and the young of your flock, in the land which he swore to your fathers to give you. 14 You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be male or female barren among you, or among your cattle. 15 And the LORD will take away from you all sickness; and none of the evil diseases of Egypt, which you knew, will he inflict upon you, but he will lay them upon all who hate you. 16 And you shall destroy all the peoples that the LORD your God will give over to you, your eye shall not pity them; neither shall you serve their gods, for that would be a snare to you.

Blessings upon you this year and the years to come! Sincerely, Sister Abena
Brought to you by His Chosen Vessel Online Ministry
http://www.hischosenvesselministry2005.blogspot.com/ http://www.inspiredtowrite08.blogspot.com/
©2007 Sister Abena